Honestly.

It’s funny how we all try so hard to hide our insecurities and battles, because we don’t want anyone to know we’re anything less than put together. Yet when one of us slips up and lets the real self show, there seems to follow such a sense of connection. And I think it’s because once one person is able to see that another person doesn’t have it all together, then the guards come down. And then we can relate to one another.

I appreciate honesty, because I then feel like I can be mutually honest. This is not to say that all people I perceive to be transparent are trustworthy… but honesty is one of the biggest steps toward relationship building.

Duh, Ali.

Well, yeah ok…. it’s simple. But something can be simple and not easy. Because why, then, do I walk around at my job feeling like I need a different face, a different personality? Honesty may be an evident virtue, but it doesn’t mean I don’t subconsciously go around hoping everyone thinks I have it together.

I wake up every morning and pray that God helps me to be comfortable in my own skin. I have to remind myself often that it’s ok to be Alexandra. I almost constantly campaign against the impulse to compare.

“Comparison is the thief of joy” said Teddy Roosevelt as we were having tea in my head one day.

I think I’m typing this so that someone may see it and remember that it’s ok to admit we’re not flawless. I saw two people do it today, and they probably don’t know it, but it was quite inspiring.

I tend to be insecure, but I believe in a God who sets me upon a rock. I may falter, but the rock i stand on does not. He is teaching me that my formation in the womb was purposeful, and that I have the choice to be purposeful in my life. And He’s given me the tools to do so.

I’m quite the spotted sheep myself, but it doesn’t really make sense to whitewash my own spots for pride’s sake.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s