Hello again, cyberworld.
So most of my writing lately has been within the confines of my journal pages and the “sob story you probably wouldn’t care to read” category. I will spare you from the pity party in its entirety, but the overview is that people are just mean sometimes [insert hashtag #obviousstatement here].
It’s a very “he said/she said” scenario, and I have very little details other than the following. Apparently, some folks decided they wanted to talk behind my back about some piddly thing or another. Or maybe it’s not some piddly thing. Maybe it’s a quite significant thing. Ah, but I’ll never know, because there is no noble soul who cares to tell me anything to my face. The scenario takes place at my job, where cliques and gossips are found galore, so I suppose I should be used to it by now. But this time… well, I’ll spare you of those details, too. Let’s just say I prefer not to have my name drug through the mud.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not guiltless. I myself, in the past, have gossiped with the best of the bigmouths and have been quick to shut up with most cowardly. I’ve had many a laugh at others’ expense and have blushed a shameful crimson at others’ discovering of my talk.
Gossip is poison.
There’s that old saying of “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” but words WILL more than likely hurt me, and I’ll probably have the urge to bestow some equally hurtful ones on my opponent. Language is powerful stuff, even (or especially) when it’s used in whispers behind your back.
But like my sweet momma always told me, “The only person you can control is you.”
Right. So that seems to be pretty glaringly evident, I guess, but I’m sure glad she tells me this so much. I certainly have to remind myself a lot. Ok, Mom. You’re right. Again. How’d you get to be so smart anyways? Anyways…
In other words, while I am not responsible for another person’s nasty words or nasty actions, I am QUITE responsible for my own, including my response to someone’s nasty words or nasty actions. Sticking up for myself aside, what about the times where I need to stick up for the victims, the voiceless, the bullied? What about the times where the bully is a bully because they’ve been bullied in the past? What will my response be then? I am rubber and you are glue? I don’t think so. Well, I hope not, in any case.
I suppose if I am not confronted with an issue, then I am forced to simply go on about my business the best way I know how. After all, how am I supposed to respond if no one presents anything that I am response-able toward? It’s not really my business to have a retort for something about myself that’s not even been said in front of me.
And from what I’ve witness of my presumed whispering campaigners, they probably wouldn’t fess up anyway.
Not my circus, not my monkeys.**
**a polish proverb. I found out about 3 days ago that I am part polish, by the way. Got jokes? Bring ’em.